a raw approach

If you’re reading this, this probably came as a surprise. Me? blogging? I didn’t see it coming either; It just happened.

Why I chose to blog...

For those of you who know me, you might know that I don’t like writing nor am I very good at it. I know I suck at spelling and that I have horrible grammar. With that said, if you’re going to leave comments about my mistakes, you can just stop reading and save yourself the trouble and time.

Secondly, I feel as though blogging will allow me to get to know myself better. This being my main reason. In the past, I've asked people what they thought about me, what flaws I had. But I never seemed to get a straightforward answer or rather an answer maybe I was looking for or hoping to hear different. Others just told me to find out for myself or even to spend some time just thinking and reflecting. Truthfully, I don’t think I know myself as well as I want to. Maybe it’s because I've changed in the past years or maybe because I'm lost and still trying to find the real me somewhere inside. I figured blogging can be “me” time for myself, something maybe I refused give myself for the past years.

Truthfully, I'm scared. I don’t really want people reading my posts. I'm scared I'm actually letting people know me more than I want them to know. But I'm telling myself that this is a way to really find myself and be truthful to myself. I'm just hoping people won’t judge me and look at me differently after reading my posts. [Which I truthfully find myself doing sometimes when I read other peoples blog. Which again I rarely do]

1. I'm not really sure what should and should not be said on a blog
2. I'm not sure what people actually say on a blog
3. I feel like I'm going in circles and being repetitive, using the same words over and over, which is already annoying me.
4. The placing of commas, capitalizing the first letter of every sentence, and putting periods here and there are already stressing me out. [I refuse to go back and fix my grammar or any other mistakes]

I know my topics are going to be random and maybe not even understandable at times. And I’ll apologize beforehand, but don’t say I didn’t warn you or that I didn’t tell you so.

I have a lot of things/thoughts in my head. Most of them scrambled and jumbled, not making any sense. I noticed I question a lot of things or more so ask myself questions sometimes I can’t answer. Like why I do certain things or why I live my life this way or that.

Why I named my blog “a raw approach”...

            raw meaning –

-       in its natural state, unprocessed or purified

-       (of an emotion or quality) strong and undisguised

Hopefully I’ll be able to figure things out and be true to myself. 

Here goes my first post @ 2:55 am on August 14, 2010. Exciting.