Acceptance

what does it mean to be “exclusive”. what is it about a certain group of people that we label them to be different. to be unapproachable. to be reserved and select. we judge them and term them “exclusive” in a negative way… it’s the only other way of saying “I’m not considered one of them.”

what is it about people that causes them to see others as being exclusive and unapproachable. what are the requirements, the rules, the expectations. what do they do that’s so different from the rest of us. why are we so scared to ask them if we can join them. are we just scared that we’ll never be accepted as “one of them” [whatever that means].

over the past couple years… ive watched people call me as being “exclusive” and I admit, even I have called some people “exclusive” myself.

you may wonder.. what are my reasons?... my reasons for calling others exclusive…

I see them looking at themselves differently. they think highly of themselves. thinking they are better than others. it’s not just about having a name for the group or labeling themselves in a certain manner. it’s about who they choose to “ONLY” hang out with. this is what I term as being “exclusive.”

it seems as though these days.. any group of friends you have can be considered as being “exclusive.” you might be a group of church members. exclusive. floor mates. exclusive. a certain grade [seniors, juniors, freshman]. a group of friends. a basketball team. even a group of people taking the same class. exclusive.

why is it that we expect others to include us in activities when we only consider them as mere acquaintances. why do we feel as though we should be included? is it the fact that we want to really be there? spending time with them, sharing memories with them? OR is it the fact that we just want to be asked… just simply being asked. the fact that we might be… [scratch that] that we need to be needed. do we ever stop to think that we should’ve invited them last night. do we ever consider the fact that we, ourselves, haven’t asked them to join us in our activities. why do we expect any different from them.

so what does it mean to be “exclusive”

is it being “exclusive” to want to hang out with your close group of friends? are we expected to invite the world to our hang outs? to share our inside jokes? our memories? its funny how our friendship has formed from simply spending time with each other… I consider that to be possible for everyone and anyone.

why don’t we ever stop for a second… and think.. just think.. if we really wanted to be there. why not just ask?  how old are we.. is it your pride? your self-esteem? if you really care to hang out and spend time with people.. all that shouldn’t matter.. wouldn’t matter.

on a side note: what is it about people terming others as first, second, or even your back-up friends…

yes you have your best friends. then you can have your friends. but can you even consider having back-up friends? aren’t “friends” just all friends?

well for one… if you yourself consider some people as your “back-up” friends.. then well. they aren’t your true friends. you don’t think highly enough of them as being your friend. you only consider them as someone that’s there for you when you have absolutely no one else to spend time with.

now you turn that around… if you yourself consider yourself as a secondary, back-up friend… then you either lack in self-esteem, don’t think very highly of yourself, OR is wasting your time on a momentary, temporary friendship.. cause friendships don’t last unless you consider it a two-way street. why do you view yourself as a “secondary” friend? do you not think that your friend will drop everything and run to help you when you are in need. do you not think your friend will spend time with you if you stopped for a moment and asked? I think it very sad that anyone would ever consider themselves to be a “secondary” friend… why do you even consider them friends?

to me.. there’s your best friends. people I respect and have come to love. people I can trust and would drop everything to help them if they ever asked. then there’s your friends. people I love spending time with. people I share memories with. people I am getting to know better with each passing day. 

this has got a lot lengthier than i had hoped.