some things never change

i was never good at blogging and that certainly hasn't changed. first i started so that i can just put my thoughts out there so that maybe if i read it on the screen i would be able to reflect on myself and figure "life" out. perhaps i would figure out the changes i had to make or maybe even find answers i've been searching for.

now my blog has just turned into a way to look back at my past posts, thoughts, and memories..

just four years ago i was on my way to a college out of state. a brand new place, brand new friends, and a whole lot of new experiences were ahead of me. if someone had told me i'd be dating one of my first friends i met in college four years later [yes i know, many have] i wouldn't have believed it [some part of me still can't believe it]. after four years of many ups and downs, making friends.. losing friends, getting A's.. not getting a's, trying to go to  med school.. and now studying for pharmacy school, i stand here and think, eh it hasn't been so bad after all. if someone told me four years ago that i'd go through everything i've been through the past four years, i would've said no thank you, that's not for me. but now i realized i've only learned and grew from the past four years of my life.

yet i sit here scared to face the next four years of my life. whether it'd be pharmacy school starting next fall? or looking for a job for another year. or even my future with the person i've come to know and be comfortable with. looking at the past four years, i know that i'll be fine in the end, but the dark uncertainty ahead looks daunting.

perhaps after the uncertainty i'll soon come to find excitement about my future and maybe one day four years from now i'll look back at this moment and be reminded that the next four years after that will be alright.